Gator Fans to Mayor: Can We Watch the Game with You?

The Honorable Nancy Berry
Mayor of College Station, Texas
1101 Texas Avenue
College Station, Texas 77840

Howdy Berry!

We are a group of five Florida Gators writing you in response to your recent dust-up with Gator Coach Will Muschamp. While we are Gators to our cores and bleed Orange and Blue, we couldn’t help but have a certain admiration for the manner in which you quickly stood up for and defended both your city and your team. We take a boys only road trip each season to cheer on our Gators in the enemy’s den, and this year’s excursion is bringing us to College Station to help welcome the Aggies to the SEC. We have made our travel plans and reserved our rooms at the Hilton College Station Conference Center (arriving September 6th, departing September 9th), but at this point have not been able to secure tickets to the game. That being said, we thought this might provide the perfect opportunity for you to back up your proud words with action. We were wondering if you would be interested in being our hostess for the weekend. It would afford us the opportunity to learn about the histories of College Station and Texas A&M from someone well-versed in both, in addition to giving us an unforgettable story to relate when we talk about this year’s trip in the future. We suspect that watching the game with you would be even more entertaining than being in our usual seats in the Gator section of the stadium reserved for us by the home team (i.e. nosebleeds). Rest assured we are not a group of drunken louts looking to cause trouble with everyone wearing different colors than us. We are all proud Gators and respected professionals in our hometown of Fort Myers, Florida. We look forward to our road trips each year, and respect the fact that students and graduates of the schools we visit have a pride in their university that rivals the pride we have in the University of Florida. We look forward to your reply and hope to have the chance to spend time with you on the weekend of September 8th.

Gig’em, huh? We think that’s cute, but we say……

GO GATORS!

Ted Fitzgeorge
Gary Hogrefe
Anson Phetteplace
Steve Tubbs
Bill Turner

mayorberry-gigem

Florida Wins

oldhelmet

The Florida Gators have won U.S. college football’s Bowl Championship Series (BCS) national title with a thrilling 24-14 victory over the top ranked Oklahoma Sooners.

After a scoreless first quarter in Miami’s Dolphin Stadium, Florida quarterback Tim Tebow threw a 20-yard touchdown pass to Louis Murphy. Oklahoma retaliated when Sam Bradford found Jermaine Gresham in the endzone for a six-yard score. The teams would trade scores again in the second half to be deadlocked at 14 points each.

But key plays by the second ranked Gators turned the game to their advantage. A blocked Oklahoma field goal attempt and an interception of Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Sam Bradford resulted in the final 10 points.

Florida kicker Jonathan Phillips booted a 27-yard field goal and David Nelson caught a four-yard touchdown reception to seal the win.

Gators head coach Urban Meyer, who has now won two national titles in three years, praised the resiliency of his team.

“This is one of the best teams in college football history,” he said. “At a great institution like Florida, you should be able to compete for championships. But these guys overcame a lot. And I am awful proud of them.”

Florida completes its season with 13 wins and just one loss, while Oklahoma is 12-2.

The only blemish on their record came with a (31-30) defeat to Mississippi. Tim Tebow says that loss brought a renewed focus to the team.

“I think we were motivated from that,” he said. “I think we learned that we have to come out every week with passion and enthusiasm and play for each other. And I think that is what we did.”

Tebow won the Heisman Trophy last season as college football’s top individual player, while Oklahoma’s Sam Bradford won the honor this season. The two quarterbacks finished the championship game with nearly identical statistics. Tebow threw for 231 yards while Bradford had 256. Both completed a pair of touchdowns and had two interceptions.

The BCS pairs the top two ranked teams in what it calls a national championship game. The teams are ranked by a combination of polls and computer formulas. But the BCS process is not favored by many fans. Division One football is the only U.S. collegiate sport that does not have a playoff to determine its champion. At least three other teams (USC, Texas and Utah) say they have a legitimate claim for the 2009 national title.

It’s A No Brainer

IC’s B Movie Reviews

Evil Ed

Well, if you judge movies by the previews on the tape before the feature presentation, this one was going to be an odd one. It was a preview for the The Horror Shop, some cheesy video club, I think. Here’s a sampling of one of their offerings:
“It’s a movie with a lot of Gore, and I don’t mean Al and Tipper!” – That movie was called The Evil Within I think

They also offered a 100% t-shirt. No, not 100% cotton, just 100% t-shirt, for all we know it could be made from, well, I’m not going to type that in…

Story: Ed (Johan Rudebeck, I think) is a mild-mannered father of two, who also happens to be a film editor promoted to the Splatter and Gore department at some European film company after the previous film editor goes insane and decides to chew on a grenade in his office. As Ed takes the job, the soundtrack becomes distinctly Euro-dance. You might say it’s the requisite Euro-dance song. Combined with the song is mulching from the movie that’s playing in the office. I’m pretty sure there was axe-wielding going on in that one…

Well, as you may have guessed, Ed also goes insane. Quite early in the movie, actually, and the rest of the film concentrates on him rampaging through the streets, homes, hospitals and businesses of Jakobsberg, Sweden.

Yeah, that’s all you’re getting of the story from me. Now, I’ll get to the review. If I had to choose one word for this movie it would be gratuitous. Everything in this movie is gratuitous. Not convinced? Maybe this will help:

This movie contained:
A gratuitous fur-shucking scene (demented film editing scene)
Gratuitous Country Crock & Folgers placement
A Gratuitous Descent into Madness Scene
Gratuitous Limb Hacking
A Gratuitous mutant Tim Curry/James Earl Jones in Padded Cell Scene
Gratuitous Critters posters
A Gratuitous haunted fridge with a Garfield magnet
A Gratuitous evil, cackling, tomato chucking, beer guzzling, bird flipping lizard thing that looked like a slimy castoff from the TV series Dinosaurs with flower pajamas and a Speedy Gonzalez voice that lives in a refrigerator
A Gratuitous minotaur (almost triceratops) in jogging pants
Gratuitous neck-snapping
Gratuitous ‘Neck Bone’s connected to the backbone’ song playing while necks were being snapped
Gratuitous head-dunking (yes, head-dunking)
Gratuitous Brahms Lullaby playing while mauling a delivery guy
Gratuitous flashlight on stuffed bird in the dark with bird noise in background
Gratuitous breakaway plate smashing
Gratuitous severed head basketball
Gratuitous severed head bouncing off someone’s roof and scaring an old lady
A Gratuitous Ginger Spice look alike
A Gratuitous Critters Scene (yes, another one)
Gratuitous Warren G regulating in the psychiatric ward
A Gratuitous galloping insane people scene
Gratuitous phone cord sizzling
Gratuitous Swedish actors trying to do a U.S. Southern Accent
Gratuitous arm shrapnel
You convinced now?

OK, here’s gems from this movie.

Apparently that lizard thing from the refrigerator was named Fritz and its one line of the movie was “Shut the door you nazi or you’re going to die!”

While beating someone’s head on the floor, Ed asks them: “So you like head-banging, eh?”

Yes, Ed is too busy mauling people, that he misses his daughter’s birthday. Oh, I guess this tried to show the human side of Ed … or something …

During an interesting scene in the psychiatric ward at the prison, the alarm is on one minute, back off the next, and then back on again in the next scene. Hmm…

Yes, Ed has his demented manifesto at the end of the movie. It’s, well, it’s interesting…

Here’s some stuff from the credits (that rolled to way-too-chipper music):

screamer, zip head, and severed head effects by Anders Bratas
stabbing weapons by Benny Ihrsen
uzi guns from Lars Yngve Ekstrom

Oh yeah, don’t forget the Corpse Count: 12

Ratings

W – 7/10
– I spent half this movie trying to figure out what was going on, but when I did figure it out, it definitely held my attention. Definitely an interesting look at European horror movies…

HA – 5/10
– Although not really trying to be funny in very many spots, when it does shoot off the occasional one-liner or put the occasional lizard creature in the fridge, it’s pretty funny

UC – 5/10
– This movie was so demented, I couldn’t tell when it was trying to be funny, and when it wasn’t, so I’ll give it the same score as HA

C – 7/10
– Maybe it’s the fact it’s a Swedish movie, but there were definitely some new and strange ways to mulch people. It surely isn’t your garden variety horror movie.

This movie was REALLY STRANGE. And when you consider who that’s coming from, that’s saying a lot. Maybe if I was from Europe, I’d understand it more. As you can see, I think it was an above average B Movie. Let’s call it an A- movie.